I wish I didn’t know so much about the stress that goes with life cycle issues, like aging, accidents, emergencies and passing, but unfortunately, I have had far too much experience.
As the creator of the Future File legacy and wishes planning system, I also get to hear from other people dealing with these issues, usually from the ones who have not taken the time to do some simple and valuable preparation.
You may think that your loved ones want you to leave behind a certain piece of jewelry or a family heirloom, but universally, there are three things you can leave them that are priceless.
What are your wishes in case of an accident? If you pass, how do you wish to be buried – or perhaps even be cremated? How do you want your estate, whether large or small, divided?
FIVE THINGS YOUR NEIGHBOR NEEDS TO KNOW BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE
These are not fun things to think about, but they are even harder for your loved ones to think about in the case of an aging issue, accident, emergency or a passing.
Communicating your wishes can save your loved ones a lifetime of grief and thousands of dollars.
When my father was putting together the prototype for our legacy and wishes planning system, Future File, we had a discussion regarding his wishes in case he was ever on life support. His first directive was, "you decide," and I communicated that I did not want that responsibility or weight on my shoulders.
He agreed and his next decision was, "have the machines keep me alive forever." When I asked if that is what he really wanted, he thought more about it. His ultimate wish was to have two different doctors confirm that he would not return to a normal life and that would be enough to rely on should a situation like that occur.
About six months after that discussion, my father was in a freak accident and ended up on life support in that very same situation we had discussed and for which we had prepared. After consulting with multiple doctors that he was in fact "brain dead," when we took him off of life support my sister and I knew we were following his wishes.
THE SECRETS YOU MUST SHARE BEFORE YOU DIE
Had I not had that directive and was left to make that decision solo or with my sister, we would have shouldered that burden, questioning whether we made the right decision for the remainder of our lives. Our preparation allowed us to move forward without that heavy burden weighing on our minds and our hearts.
Additionally, sorting through my father’s wishes pertaining to things like final arrangements saved us more than $10,000, a huge chunk of money in an already expensive process.
In addition to helping your loved ones avoid grief and extra costs, you want to save them time trying to find your important information. Having a legacy and wishes planning system, like Future File, can ensure that you remember to communicate everything you need for any relevant life cycle event.
Have an accident? Your loved ones will be able to access what medicine you are taking. Have memory issues? Your loved ones will be able to make sure your bills are attended to and nothing slips through the cracks.
SINEAD O'CONNOR INSTRUCTED HER KIDS ON WHAT TO DO IF SHE DIED YEARS BEFORE HER SUDDEN PASSING
If you pass, they will be able to access your will, trust and other relevant documents. They will be able to find the key to your safe deposit box or the code and location of your safe. They will know what to do with your social media accounts and perhaps even what sensitive information you do not want anyone to access! They can find your accounts, advisers and other important information seamlessly.
Whatever they might need to know, organizing this in advance can save your loved ones hundreds of hours of time (something again my father did for me and my sister). Caring.com shared that wrapping up affairs after a passing can take six months to two years! Every hour you can save them is a true gift.
In this case, it is more of what your loved ones don’t want you to leave behind – all of your stuff.
As Americans, we love to accumulate things. Whether it is clothing, tools, sentimental objects, collectibles or just a whole slew of stuff that you "might need one day," your hoarding, collecting and/or saving of things turns into a massive nightmare for your loved ones, who ultimately have to take the time to clean up your home and storage and make decisions on what might be of value or sentiment.
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There is absolutely nobody who wants to inherit a giant mess.
Go through your stuff on a regular basis. Think about gifting sentimental items to loved ones during your lifetime, so you can experience the joy and appreciation of those items with them.
If you have items in storage, and if nobody wants them and you haven’t used them in a few years, consider dumping them for good. You will be saving both the time of your loved ones and the recurring storage fee.
And, be really clear about your intentions for any valuable or highly sentimental items you leave behind. Leave instructions on where to find the items, who they should be passed on to and that you are OK with them getting rid of everything else in your legacy and wishes planning system.
While it is never fun to think about these things and you may be hesitant to take action today, if you don’t, your loved ones will have to spend even more time doing so in the future.
