Though it has been nearly 18 years since he tied the knot with Erinn Bartlett, Oliver Hudson is reflecting on the "horrible choices" he made leading up to the big day.
In a recent episode of the "Sibling Revelry" podcast - which he co-hosts with sister Kate Hudson, Oliver got candid about his past infidelities and explained why he does not regret a single one of them.
"Regret is an interesting word," Oliver said after guest Robyn Lively asked him if he had any regrets in life. "I'm not sure I have many regrets because if I didn't, it was a choice that I made, whether it was a positive one or a negative one. I've made some horrible, horrible choices in my life just generally. You would think I regret doing that, but I don't know where or who I would be if I didn't make that choice."
"When I got engaged, something happened psychologically, and I spiraled, and I was unfaithful, and I was cheating, and I was crazy," he added. "I never got caught. I told her everything because I couldn't live with myself and get married and be married and have children with this sort of weight. I was crying, like … who am I? I told her everything. She's an amazing woman."
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Oliver, who proposed to Bartlett in 2004 and married the actress on June 9, 2006, in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, said his mom, Goldie Hawn, played a role in helping him move past his mistakes.
"And my mother played a big part in it as well," he said. "Where it's about looking at the entirety and the totality of the relationship, not just the action. Even though it might seem extreme, let's dig in a little bit into why and looking at the whole person rather than this one affliction. Because I'm a good man, no doubt. I'm not malicious."
"I was going through whatever I was going through, and we were able to sort of therapy and do all of it and get through it," he said. "And honestly, if that didn't happen I don't know what kind of person I would be. So do I regret it? I mean no, I guess not. I regret causing pain. I don't want to cause anyone any pain."
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"But you grew," said Lively. "You became a different person because of that experience."
"If everything was f---ing rainbows and roses, then who are you?" added Oliver.
Just last week, Oliver caught himself having to clarify some comments he made about his mother creating "trauma" for him as a child.
During an episode of his podcast in March, Oliver revealed he had "almost the most trauma" from his mother, even though Hawn was his "primary caregiver."
"I felt unprotected at times," he explained. "She would be working and away, or she had new boyfriends that I didn’t really like. She would be living her life, and she was an amazing mother.
However, after facing backlash for his comments, he clarified. "There was no trauma coming from my mother, the way she raised me, in any way whatsoever," he said in an episode last week.
The 47-year-old actor explained that when he first made those comments about his famous mom, he was speaking from the perspective of his 5-year-old self.
"That’s what I was doing. Without her, again, I’d be nothing," he explained. "It’s more about sort of my child feelings in that moment, rather than me, how I feel about mom as a parent."
